I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
