she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
