We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
