one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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