We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize