he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
