We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
