It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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