Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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