it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
