Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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