Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
