you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize