In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
