Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
