it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
