She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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