True but thats because hes a fetus.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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