I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Someone shattered a urinal.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
