I wannas sexs uuuuu
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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