Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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