Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
