Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
