im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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