And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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