whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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