But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
