I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
