he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
