I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
