I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
