the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
