they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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