lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize