mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
