he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
