i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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