this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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