They should really pass out barf bags in church
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
