I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
