Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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