me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
