She announced her abortion via fbk
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
