Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
