I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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