Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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