his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
