I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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