nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
