Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
