"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize