I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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