hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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