toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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