i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
