the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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