ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize