So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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