in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The police scanner is talking about you again....
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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