i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
sex in a hospital.. check
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
