im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
