i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
