these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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