Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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