i don't like sucking hair
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize