Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
