even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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