Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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