last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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