So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
