On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
