it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize